For the majority of my life I simultaneously feared/rejected and yet mentally chased-after the desires that appeared to me, and well...
Then one day new teachings arrived, and I began radically embracing all desires and no rejection of them would be tolerated. But there was a belief in control running, and after a time, I couldn't help but notice… I didn't have any.
and that hurt too, at first.
Then, through a seemingly astonishing chain of events, I saw who and what I truly am, and always have been. So clearly so in fact, that the desires sloughed off like a long days dirt and swirled down the drain of human longing—along with any ideas of "future" or some "later fulfillment".
And that felt so wonderful. but it still hurt a little.
And then one day, it was seen that the desires were never any less an expression of this beauty, and though they could no longer be believed in, they were also perfectly allowed to BE. They were never "mine".
They were not "mine" to behold, or to reject. Not "mine" to keep, or to deny.
They simply are, what IS.
And I saw that day, the desires were birds. Birds I had locked in a cage.
Needing them was a cage, just as much as not-needing them was a cage. Owning them was a cage just as much as dis-owning them was a cage. Whether I believed IN them, or AGAINST them… it was every bit as rigid.
That is when it all became astonishingly clear, and the bars fell away and dissolved into nothing.
And now, a little girl sits in the soft of a dawn, and watches her caged birds all fly, fly away.
The beauty of their freedom is so much, it overwhelms her, and she sobs great heaving joyful sobs at the miraculousness that they… and she… can exist at all.
She watched them scatter to the wind, dissolving to the knowledge they had never belonged to anyone, and the freedom of it was so immense…
that she, herself, dissolved as well.
All that was left was love.
In fact, that's all there had ever been to begin with.