THE ASTONISHING BEAUTY OF "I DON'T KNOW"
There is a little phrase lurking about in our lovely English language, that sounds quite commonplace, and rather unremarkable. It's a humble little phrase, slipping in and out of conversations, in it's quiet and unassuming way.
Most people don't think much of it, but use it anyway, from time to time. But some people full-on avoid this little phrase, at all costs! No matter what your current stance is on it, EVERY human-mind on the planet has at one time or another, avoided this little phrase — and all of it's perceived implications.
The little phrase I'm speaking of is: "I don't know."
I will tell you right away, that this little phrase and me used to be arch-enemies. I mean, I was raised on this planet, after all.
This planet where admitting you don't know comes with stymied implications such as: "you're ignorant, you're uninformed, you're unintelligent, you're stupid, you're not smart enough, you're not good enough, you're not worthy"
Believing all of that - of COURSE I would make this little phrase my enemy. Of course I would fight tooth and nail to pretend "I know". That I know 'what the answer is', that I know 'how that works', that I know 'what that means', or 'who that is'. That I know 'what's going to happen', that I know 'how it IS', and I know 'how things ARE'.
But then one day… I got tired of pretending.
Then one day, I saw how exhausting that was. And what a lie it was. And how ridiculous it was. I saw how my mind was always grasping for it, because it was afraid of what it might find out about itself in the absence of all these defenses…
and I dropped the "I know" mind, like the dirty little habit it was.
It was about that time when this humble little phrase of ours began to come to visit. It started hanging around more, it popped-in on conversations, it dropped-by my journal pages, and showed up in my responses, and every time it came, I was delighted to see it.
And before I knew it, me and "I don't know" had become the best-of-friends.
To think now that I was ever NOT-friendly with this delicious phrase, pains me to the core. Because the funny thing is - in the absence of all that trying to "know", in the absence of all the defenses that came with that, my mind finally found out what was there all along, hiding demurely beneath the barrier of "I know" was: BLISS.
I do not use the word "bliss" very often. It is a strong word, and I wouldn't use it lightly. But I swear to you on all that is holy, that this little phrase deserves that distinction.
To me, "I don't know" is like a wave of cool water. It is like a sweeping expanse of centripetal openness — a feeling of such exquisite spaciousness and fullness, that it cannot be described... but boy do I love trying. :)
"I don't know" is a sheep in wolves clothing. Simply uttering it's name, will take apart your stress & pining, and put you right back to the grace that you are.
So me and my friend are campaigning… we're moving through the landscape, and daring to take a stand against every single concept. I have come to trust my little friend so much, that I'd put him up to just about anything…
I can't wait to find out what 'I don't know' next!
Care to join us? care to give my little friend a home in your heart?
Come on… try him on… I swear, he doesn't disappoint.